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Sometimes I Need Me Time

Is there a mom who doesn’t feel guilty over taking personal time? I hate feeling guilty over taking hikes without my kids – and especially because Kirk watches them while I go out. But I also know I need that time. I am with them 24 hours a day otherwise. But more, for the first time in my life, I am finding I am timid with my kids. Ford went everywhere with me, he was hiking not long after he started walking. We hiked and backpacked thousands of miles. Taking Walker was natural as well. But I have so little confidence in taking Alistaire hiking, where it is me, Walker and Ford and Kirk can’t come. Honestly? What scares me is the thought of him having an allergic reaction in the backcountry with no other adult to help me. For me, this is beyond scary and I cannot wrap my mind around it. Maybe next year when he is older. We will see. Until then…maybe it isn’t bad for me to take trips with just me and no one else to worry about.

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I was supposed to go on a much longer hike with my friend Jared and help him finish a section of the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) he hadn’t done, but by Sunday I was exhausted. By the kids, by the week and feeling really anemic. At least Jared is flexible and didn’t guilt trip me too much. I am grateful for that. And he likes to fly fish…and the lake we went to has plenty of fishies to play with.

Early morning at Sheep Lake today.

I end up at Sheep Lake at least once a year. It is pretty, large, has great meadows and is e-z-y to get to. (Seriously, 2.10 miles one way, with only a little elevation gain).

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Only one hitch…I was so tired I didn’t pack everything like I normally do the night before. I left my camera behind. Argh. Thankfully I had my phone along…but I really would have had so much more fun shooting flower photos.

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We ended up on the far side of the lake, where the fish were jumping (it was around 9 am). The wind was blowing steady most of the day, which kept bugs off of us.

For as sunny as it was, it was really cold at times!

If anything, it was chilly at times, maybe in the mid 60’s at most. Even though it was blue skies and sunny (it is though at mid 5,000’s for elevation).

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Jared was the only fly-fisher out there, and was the only one catching anything – he caught quite a few (he uses non-barbed hooks and lets them go).

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We spent a good half of the day just lounging around – OK, he was fishing. I spent my hours reading books on my phone (thank you Kindle app), napping and exploring the basin.

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The wildflowers were just opening, with Magenta Paintbrush opening.

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Give me lupine covered hills and I am in bliss.

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That and being lazy. Being lazy once in a while needs to be done more often.

~Sarah

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Comments

  1. Is that the Sheep Lake on Mount Rainier, by Chinook Pass? Or just an amazing resemblance?

    And you’re right, “me time” is hugely important, and hiking just melts stress away.

  2. Stunning. I understand your fears…. I hope you become more confident with time, and remember you are in control with allergies – if you take no risks you will be safe 🙂

  3. Sarah I can relate to everything you are saying. Since my son has similar allergies we have to think and overthink everything, including where is the nearest hospital (when traveling), will there be food for him, will other kids have food that may cause reactions, etc. He has only gone out to eat a few times in his whole life because it is just too scary.
    I also think it is good to get away by yourself. I’m home with the kids everyday, all day and it has been getting to me. Starting this week, one night a week I’m getting out of the house for a few hours BY MY SELF to work on some writing projects. My husband has always been good about watching the kids when I need to do stuff but this time is intentional and it is helping me reach my writing goals.

    • I had to talk myself down recently when we went walking, in our neighborhood and I forgot his meds. Dumb I know…but it was huge in my mind. I lost all my happiness when I realized it. I am trying to get past that – and I find getting out by myself helps so much.
      Methinks I need to do a Starbucks writing time once a week where I go out by myself!! That would be such a good idea – or heck, to the library even!

      • It was awesome having those few hours (and delicious coffee) to myself.
        Also, I put a sign up on the door that says, “Do you have the EPI pen?” and it helps a lot. I also have it hanging from a hook above my purse. We have forgotten it a few times and I kind of freak out as well. We’ve gone home for it, it just depends on where we are going and how far away we are.

        • That is a greta idea for the 3rd set of meds! (I carry one in my purse all the time, 1 in the kitchen). Will do!

  4. I identify with so much of this post. I need time away too. At least, time where I don’t have to take care of someone/something else. I work outside the house so I get a break from my kid but I don’t get downtime because evenings/weekends are crunch to do all the things. I’ve been feeling really cabin fevered this year. I haven’t been on a single hike since winter. This summer is going by so fast. We are now coming up on prime hiking season and I really need to get out. Problem is, Knox is very difficult to take into the backcountry. We are new-ish to Spokane so we aren’t familiar with the backcountry here like we were in Portland. His pump can go a day or two without being charged, but his blend needs to be kept cold. I use ice packs on days it can’t be refrigerated between meals, but that is not typically in hot sun all day. So he could go on a few hours hike, but overnight trips (what I really need to be rejuvenated) are out of the question. We can’t keep his food safe without ice or refrigeration. I guess we could use formula for a weekend, but that is a serious ton of weight to carry and really isn’t what I want his body to have unless it’s urgent. I’ve been feeling stuck lately.

    • We will get you out! 🙂 If we can pull it off, I’d love to meet up halfway this fall 🙂 All I can say is…getting out last month on a backpacking trip made me feel so much better.

  5. I can totally understand your fear about your son re his allergies 😦 I would be nervous too. That said, solo time is key and I’m glad you had a chance to enjoy those views.
    -Dana

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